Years in review

As I've started writing again, I've been reading old posts. There is a lot there! Some things I remember clearly, some have faded over time. A lot of the dates are complete blanks 😐. The work stress at my current job--a lot of that I have completely forgotten! Good thing I switched to my new division. Work now feels vaguely dissatisfying but I think it's just working at all that is the problem. Yes, sometimes the work is difficult, boring, or tedious. But it can also be interesting and challenging. My internal teams tend to be really good and sometimes great. I go through cycles of intense focus and distraction. 

I would like to be outside and biking but I struggle to fit it into my day. I don't think I reported my most recent bike purchase--an e-bike! I was struggling after the move to navigate all the hills in our new neighborhood. I was biking but dreading the ride home, which involves a steep uphill to get to the house almost any direction I take. Hills on top of hills. The e-bike is a lighter model but has enough oomph to get me home if I'm tired. I tend to avoid the steepest hills still but it can manage them if necessary. All summer I planned to get into a biking routine but I never did. I bike on all my errands and most weekends take a longer ride, but I want more!

I realize there are so many life updates that are missing. Relationship status: ongoing, with Jimmy. Some issues but we are very settled. I don't know if that's a good thing. My father died a bit over 2 years ago. It was hard and upsetting. Knowing he was going to die didn't help, even though he'd been confined to his bed for over a year and basically nonverbal. I miss him all the time. Death is so terribly final. My mom is doing ok. I guess we're generally getting along, but she's had a number of serious health issues and is prone to bouts of depression. The blog reminded me I was seriously considering a move to Seattle about 8 years ago. I probably should've done it since I would feel better if I were closer to Mom. I've been trying to visit more often and stay longer. I've done that twice with Jimmy. We rented AirBnBs within walking distance, did some work, and I think it was mostly good. I need to plan another trip like that soon. In the spring I went for a week or so to visit my NYC uncle (Mom's brother), and he's doing great for a 90-year-old. I need to get up there to see him again soon. 

Anyway. Writing again regularly is nice. Maybe I'll stick with it. 

Grateful for: reflection.