Motivation

Today I had a doctor's appointment in the morning. I left really early and then realized I left my keys at home. (We have keypad locks, so I only need my keys for my bike lock.) I'd only gotten a mile away and I should've just ridden back. Instead I called Jimmy. This was silly since him driving to where I was would take as long (or longer) than riding back. So, he started driving, and I started riding home, figuring I'd meet him along the way. And, I was on our block and I saw him pulling out but he didn't see me...and he went the "wrong" way! I got so upset/angry. Somehow we figured it out and he handed me the keys. I don't know why I get angry so easily. And did Jimmy do anything wrong? Not really. Sigh. 

Anyway, I got to the doctor in plenty of time. I get to see her twice a year now (getting old is fun!), but the visit was uneventful and everything is status quo. Other than I need to do better at stress management (haha!), which probably means more exercise. Which I already knew. 

When I finally got home, after taking two calls on the way, I just sat in the kitchen reading random things and scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I could not get myself upstairs to work. And I have a very long list of things I have to do. I also meant to work on Sunday--I got in a couple of hours. But I just don't want to do the things I have to do! In my scrolling, I came across a video about procrastination. It repeated the idea that procrastination doesn't mean you're lazy. He said one should say to oneself, "this isn't procrastination, it's a protection pattern." But, even if this is true, what I am protecting myself from? 

Grateful for: not being lazy.