Nutty

Four times a year, I attend the most boring meeting in the world. I sit there, listening, with nothing to contribute, wondering how the speakers can make everything they say so amazingly dull. Today was no exception. To add insult to injury, they provided no cookies, only Danish, muffins and fruit. Fruit, fine. But Danish and muffins at 2pm? That's breakfast food! I was really looking forward to a cookie.

I escaped early and decided to stop by the National Museum of the American Indian. I needed to do some reading and I wanted a cookie or something cookie-like. The restaurant there has a good selection of "native" foods but the desserts are pretty secular. I chose a brownie. A sign near the brownies read, "May Contain Nuts." It didn't look like a nut-filled brownie, but if it were, that was acceptable.

I brought my brownie to the cashier and he said, "That has peanut butter and cheese cake."

I said, "I'm sorry?"

"It has peanut butter and cheese cake. Peanut butter and cheese cake."

I picked up the brownie, which looked exactly like a brownie. Not a brownie with fillings, nuts or anything special added. I said, "Do you mean this brownie? I don't think it has peanut butter in it. And I don't see how it could have cheese cake in it."

"Peanut butter and cheese cake!" He hummed a little tune after repeating his warning.

I said, "I'm not sure why you're saying that to me."

He said, "We have to tell people, so they don't get sick."

"Ok."

"Do you still want it?"

"Yes, please."

"Ok, but I had to tell you." He rang me up.

I said, "I don't see how a brownie could have cheesecake in it. Cream cheese, maybe. Did you mean cream cheese?"

He hummed in response. I walked away muttering to myself about cheesecake and peanut butter. And, no, the brownie contained neither. Not even a single nut.

Then again, there were nuts in abundance at the register.

Grateful for: nuts.