Friday, October 21, 2005

Keep on bloggin'

I'm overwhelmed with your kind, thoughtful words asking me to continue blogging.

Maybe I wasn't clear. I have no intention of stopping. The content may change. That's all.

One comment suggested that "Tim" (not his real name) write a guest post. Tim--are you reading? Are you game? I'll happily post anything you have to say.

Tim is uncomfortable with being known this way and I respect his feelings. (There are also military-type legal issues that make his concerns extra valid, but I don't want to go into that here.) He understands how important writing the blog is to me because he did not ask me to stop. However, I will have to stop writing about him, at least to some extent, because I would feel bad doing otherwise.

I talked to my Seattle friend Amanda about this and she had an interesting perspective. She said, "Having dated a writer, I can understand how he feels. Though, in a way, it's better than having it be fiction. Then people guess that it's you and think you really did say or do things that you didn't really say or do. If I were him, I wouldn't like it either. But I am pretty private." And I'm not, which means I've gone to the limit of my sympathy with Tim. However, I always knew, always, that this was going to be a problem for him. I let my needs trump his and I hoped, hoped, that it wouldn't bother him too much. That he could shake it off and forget about it. Maybe he can. In the meantime, I will make sure to subject him to less scrutiny and keep the focus where it belongs--on me, me, me!

I don't think I would have had the same reaction as Tim to the blog, though. For example, when JenA and I made a three minute movie together a few months ago, I wanted to be in front of the camera. I still have a fantasy about being a movie star. I want to be known. If it means sacrificing some privacy in the process, so be it.

Another comment asked if I were writing for myself or my audience. It's both. I had no idea that I would get an audience when I started blogging--though I hoped I would. The fact that I have an audience is delightful and it's a wonderful motivator. It certainly makes it more likely that I will keep writing. I don't think that there are any writers out there who don't care if they are read. Diarists maybe. I'm a diarist and I'm a writer and I want to be read. I write for my own reasons, to vent, to get my feelings out there, out of my head. But I'm also an inveterate story-teller. I love the sound of my own voice. I have a lot of stories to tell. Many, many stories.

I could stick with stories from my past, of which there are many amusing ones. I could also stick with non-Tim current events, which also abound, but aren't as compelling.

I'll figure something out and I hope you'll stick around for the ride.

Grateful for: readers.

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