I haven’t mentioned my job for a while. I think that’s because I’m not hating it anymore. I’m even starting to like it a bit. What happened? I got busy. It turns out that I like work if I’m busy. Even though I may not love the stuff that is keeping me busy, I am happy if I’m busy. But, I seem to be incapable of keeping myself busy—of “self-starting” my own projects. That’s funny, no? Because this diary/journal/blog is a completely optional activity that I find myself capable of devoting hours to every day. Hours, I tell you. On my lovely long train ride to NJ I spent almost the entire time writing. There was nothing painful about it. But, completing the academic papers that naturally derived from my dissertation? Cannot even lift a finger to get started. This is what I like to do—write stories, personal reflections, tales from the past. What I don’t like to do? Track down data, download data, pour though pages and pages of old code—no, wait, that stuff is ok. I like the gathering and processing of the data, it is the synthesizing, the thinking part I’m dreading. I’m dreading it so much that I haven’t even started the fun stuff. I suck. Someone, please tell me I have to do this. Or else.
On the dating front, I have a plan to meet a Jdate© guy today after work. If it goes well, he’ll get a cute nickname. We met by gaming the system a bit, which I think is kinda cool. Screw them and their exorbitant monthly membership fees. I still have myself listed and visible, but I don’t have message-answering privileges. That means that when I log on there is a little envelope that says “messages” flashing at me. I should have just turned everything off when I let my subscription expire—made my profile invisible so that no one would contact me. I may still do that, but it’s killing me to see that little envelope flash. Damn them.
I still don’t have plans with DrG and, despite the fact that he creeped me out a bit, I sent him email today suggesting a get together tomorrow. I do sort of want to meet him. Or, I think I should meet him. Or something. My thinking could be more muddled on this point, but I’m not sure how.
Grateful for: liking my job again.
You can do it! All you need is a little push. Y'know, baby steps.
ReplyDeleteOr how about letting yourself post on your blog as a reward for getting your work done?
DD--that is such a good idea. Maybe I'll start tomorrow!
ReplyDelete