Surprise

When I got started with this I was a little sad and a bit discouraged. I was also determined. I decided to think about dating as a project--as a means to an end. But, I really expected nothing from Jdate. I planned to operate on many fronts: participating in more volunteer activities and going out in the evenings to bars or coffee shops whenever possible (I went on dates mostly, as it turned out, all the Jdates didn't leave me with time for much else). I figured, the point was exposure, volume. I didn't expect anything from Jdate because all of my other on-line dating experiences were either blah or horrifying (one or two nice, interesting guys were exceptions). It had been my position for a long time that people who are on-line are not really available for dating. Not always, but very often. The other types out there are the shy and socially awkward, or, perhaps like me, the determined. But, if I had to bet, I'd say about 80% fall into the 'not available' category. Given the large number of completely unacceptable people one will encounter on-line (and in life), the odds are very against meeting anyone who you like and who is actually available for dating. That's why I think I wasn't expecting anything. Certainly not to meet anyone like Jake. But I think my whole very cautious approach towards him is one that would have served me well in other situations.